Joy!

I am concentrating on the Joy I have in my life. I'm trying, anyway! I started writing out some Christmas cards last night. The friends I have - I'm so grateful. Some of the people I've corresponded with for years no longer do...because of the divorce...and that hurts very much. My Divorce Care book recommends making a list of all the things I've lost through divorce so I can see them in black and white - and deal with them once and for all so they don't haunt me for the rest of my life. To be honest, I've not done that yet - I'm really not ready yet...hopefully soon.

But, I did write a list of all the things I still have and it is a great list! My health, my boys, my family, my friends, my new friends, living so close to school and the gym, having a laundry room literally 5 steps from my apartment door, my brain (when it works!), school, my good friend and investment broker!!, my good friend and trainer!!, my job, plus stuff I'm not remembering right now. Friends and family are pulling me through and for that, I feel pure joy.

I'm training to run a 5k on New Year's Day! I loved running before my injury - it brought me joy and I want to feel that feeling again. I've been doing spin classes, and then training sessions with my trainer - I feel so much better AFTERWARDS!! LOL! I need to lose weight and get healthy again. Blood pressure and sugar and both creeping up.

School is getting easier - not EASY, but easier. I'm gaining more and more confidence in the kitchen. If I want my table mates to have confidence in me, I have to show confidence in myself. Next semester I have four classes again - HR, Marketing, Math II, and Classical Cuisine. I'm looking forward to the three week break over Christmas. I was planning on doing some traveling...but I just don't have the energy right now to plan it out. Hopefully next semester I will. I know I mentioned this before (but maybe not - my brain!!!) I read in my Divorce Care book that going through a divorce uses up 85% of your available energy. So, while trying to go to school, work, have a relationship, study, and try to have some kind of life, I only had 15% of my available energy to accomplish all of that. No wonder...I'm now trying to take some of that energy I've been using focusing on the divorce and put it on the other side of the spreadsheet for the things that are more important to me and what I need right now.