Where are these feelings coming from?

Today I woke up feeling very sad. It was Dan's birthday yesterday. We usually celebrate his and the boys' birthdays together. Don't think we're going to have a chance to do that this year. I was talking to a friend and I was told these emotions will pop up a lot in the next weeks, months, even years. I know it's not going to be emotion-free - I am going to have these days - but I just wish I had some warning - maybe some bells or a tornado siren. Get ready - those sad emotions are gonna touch down in 5 minutes!! I think it was just Dan's birthday that got me feeling blue. I suspect any major holiday or special day is going to feel this way for awhile.

I know I can get through them. I didn't think it would bother me, but it did. So, I'll just have to think ahead and have some positive thinking going on for the next special day so I'm prepared. Positive thinking! Why is it that you have the best intentions to  immediately shake off a sad mood or bad mood, using all the sad emotion-fighting tools in your emotional toolbox, but when it hits you by surprise, all that good knowledge and skills just go flying out the window. I'm working on it - I'm a work in progress.

My First Blog Entry

I decided to start a Blog to make it easier for me to keep up with friends and family while going to school. For those of you who don't know, Dan and I are divorcing after 30 years of marriage. It's a good thing, believe it or not. This way, we can both remain best friends, be in our boys' lives, and remain a family. Three weeks after Dan asked for the divorce, (which was only a month ago) after experiencing some or all of the emotions you go through when asked for a divorce, I got some clarity. I asked myself - "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" It just came to me - just like that - I want to go to culinary school. Its always been a dream of mine. I could do this. So I did some research and found the Arts Institute in Novi, MI. I was initially thinking of obtaining a certificate in Baking and Patisserie. Then I thought I'd get an Associate's Degree, Then I thought, why not go for the Bachelor's Degree in Culinary Management? I've always wanted to open my own bakery, but it never went any further than that. I really love to cook, bake, and entertain, presenting  food in interesting and creative ways and making the table look extra special. So, my new dream is to get my degree, some real life experience, and then start my own catering business. Maybe even own and manage a Bed and Breakfast and run a catering business out of it. I've been talking to a friend about going into it together. So, I thought it would be fun and theraputic to post to a Blog every once and awhile for friends and family to keep up with what I'm going to be experiencing the next 3+ years! Going through a divorce; my son Jason's wedding; starting classes (one to start); moving into my own apartment; learning how to study, do research, and have confidence in myself; remain friends with my ex-husband, prove to him, my sons, and most importantly to myself that I CAN do this. I'm so very sad about the end of my marriage and losing the only life I've known for the past 30 years, but I'm excited about the future - whatever that may be!