Well,
I'm already done with Week 2 - where did it go? Because I had to make up my Garde Manger final in the first two weeks, I was at school on Monday of both Week 1 and Week 2 from 6:45a to 10:00p - three full classes, two 5 hour classes and one 4 hour class. Just yesterday I had the 3rd and last part of the final from 7a to 12p, then an English class from 1-5. I worked six hours the previous Friday and from 3p-12:45a on Saturday. I just got home from a 6-10p class. I am so tired!
But, I got the best grade in our class in Garde Manger!! Whoo Hoo! It's hard to swallow the B I got in Food and Beverage...more to that story but not worth getting into.
This past month...so hard. The break-up with Ramzi was unbelievably hard - still is. I'm driving 2 hours to Kalamazoo tomorrow to see my therapist, then lunch with Jason, then the two hours back because I have a ton of homework. I'm taking four classes this semester plus working and going to the gym - when I start back to the gym, that is! LOL!
I am feeling the gamut of emotions - sadness, loss, overwhelmed, tired, anxious...I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to be happy and enjoy what I'm doing. I guess I don't really know what I want right now. A lot of what I was planning was for a future with Ramzi...now I don't know what I want. The stress of trying to keep a relationship going is off of me, I guess I can say that.
I'm thinking of going to Arizona for a few days to see my brother Kevin as soon as this semester is over - I need a change of scenery!
Good news! I got a book published through Divorce Care - 365 days of Recovery. I need to get over the past. I let my heart open up to a relationship when it was not healed - and now it has to heal twice as much. I pray God leads the way to recovery for me. I pray he helps me through this semester. I pray he gives me the courage and strength to continue, and I pray he helps me to gain some confidence in myself.
