Losses

This past week I've lost two very special people in my life...one through death and one through divorce. Lately, it's hard to really feel the difference between the two. I've had so many losses in my life...so many this year. Grieving, I've been told, is the same for a divorce as it is for a death. I sure have grieved a lot this year. It's hard to wonder what God is thinking sometimes. Last Sunday in church, our Pastor said, "God doesn't make mistakes." I have to believe that...believe in that fact.

I decided I did need a Christmas tree this year in my apartment. I went to the storage unit, opened the door...and cried. I have pieces of my life in so many places. Not just "things", but people, memories, feelings. My life will never, ever be the same. Neither will my husband or my kids lives be the same'. I did manage to get the tree - it was within easy reach. I climbed on top of a bench and saw one Christmas tub that I thought I could reach. The other Christmas tubs were buried too deeply to get to. The tub I did manage to reach had a few items in it. When I got back to the apartment, I started to unwrap the items in the tub. Memories of my days living in England rushed back to me. First I unwrapped the Spode Christmas plates I bought in England, as well as a Christmas Pudding teapot. I remember the day when I bought that teapot. I don't specifically remember the store, but I remember the friends I was with. Every once in a while a group of us - whoever was available - would venture down to Stoke-on-Trent and hit all of the shops. Most of us had a set of dishes (or two!) we were adding to. Spode, Waterford, Portmeirion...I remember the day I got the last Spode Christmas collector plate - the one I was missing. It wasn't in a shop...it was in my friend Denise's kitchen. She had gotten a few of those  plates to give as Christmas presents. When she found out I was missing that one, she gave it to me! The next item I unwrapped- a Christmas bell that matches the Portmeirion dishes I have. Another memory came to me. The memory of the day I discovered we had been burglarized and nearly half of the Portmeirion dishes I had been buying over the 1 1/2 years we'd live there were gone. We were packing up the house to move back to the states in two days. Again, my friend Denise came right over and (those of you who know Denise remember she had quite a potty mouth!), said a few choice words, and then helped me do a quick inventory of what all was missing, drove me to my insurance agent's office (how we found it that day I'll never know), and organized a group of friends to go with me to Stoke-on-Trent the next day to buy - in one afternoon - what had taken 1 1/2 years to buy. Then I remembered the friends that were in my dining room and kitchen just a few months ago packing ALL those dishes for me - a task I could not have managed alone.There were a few other items in the bin, but no ornaments and no lights The last two  items I unwrapped were  a Mr. and Mrs. Snowman that my sister-in-law Linda had given us for Christmas last year - when I was a "Mrs." and Dan was my "Mr." I went to Meijer and bought a few boxes of Christmas balls, a star for the top of the tree, and two boxes of icicles. I have a Christmas tree now. I'm glad I went to the storage unit and was able to reach that tub. It reminded me of all the wonderful people I have in my life and all that I do have going for me. That was a good tub to find. God doesn't make mistakes - he knew what he was doing I guess. He knew I needed a reality check, and I am glad for it.