Here's How I'm Feeling Today...

School is hard...I'm so over homework and memorizing and reading and studying and writing papers and reviewing posts...everything is so hard this semester

Being alone is hard...I am pretty miserable when it comes to being alone. No one to share with, talk with, cuddle with, travel with, and no one to count on.

Dating is hard...Going through the whole meet and greet, talking, telling the whole life story, being nervous, thinking is this how I should act? How should I answer that question about wanting to get married again, how long is he going to string me - and other women - along until he settles on one, or none of us. How long before the question comes up about sleeping together, and if not, he's gone.

Trying to nail down this job is hard I've done proposal after proposal, but she's too busy doing what I would do if she'd hire me!

Not having any friends over here, save my friend from Battle Creek with whom I've just reconnected. No one to share with, go out for a spontaneous drink. I guess it's just the feeling of loneliness.

Knowing I graduate in seven months and I want to be out of this apartment. Do I start looking for a house or condo? Will there be someone in my life at that time and it won't make sense to do something like that on my own? Do I look for a job anywhere in the United States, find it, then someone who lives here comes into my life? I know I have no control over that. I've decided to just pursue all opportunities and leave the rest to God.

I'm seeing this guy now - a great guy - and we'll be going on our third date. Will it go anywhere, or will it end - like so many have - because he only wants one thing? I just can't not think about it - my mind won't let me. I don't want to be let down again. I've ended my Match.com subscription and I'm NEVER renewing it - it is just to hard on me.

I wonder, when Dan told me to have a sad life, is this what I have to look forward to? One day I'm fine, the next day...I need to know the future, but I will have to wait. I need to know I'm going to be alright, but I have to wait. Will I end up with someone, because I do not want to spend the rest of my life alone. The sooner I know the outcome of this relationship, if it's going to end, the better. I just don't have any confidence anymore. I have a great time when I'm with him, the best date I think I've ever had.

I need peace, I need my mind to be still, I need to take one day at a time. Pretty hard for a planner...