As the time between being Dan's wife and not grows wider and wider, there have been some memories that have been hard to shake. We went to Washington, DC in 2010, things were rocky in the spring, but we went anyway in June. It was so hard to forgive him, I wish I would have tried harder. We had a nice vacation, I think that was one of the last really nice times we had. We went to Germany then in December, and it was the beginning of the end - that was a bitter-sweet vacation.
There were so many nice trips I can remember - great times with the boys, then they brought friends, then girl friends. A lot of those memories have been swirling around in my head lately.
I have to say, since Christmas, I've been just hanging on...just trying to survive - day by day. I've been so busy with work and school and homework - I'm exhausted. My body is so out of whack - I can't fall asleep, then I can't wake up. But, I know I have to keep going - keep on this track. Four more semesters after this one. I worked three 12-hour days last week, and had school from 1-9:30 in between. I guess I'm just worn out.
UUGGHH! I guess, what's really bothering me is I'm not sure where I'm gong to end up - what I'm going to do - what I'll be doing. I'm really nervous about it. This semester is really, really tough - the toughest one so far. I'm sitting here doing a huge project for one of the classes and i'm just hoping I have enough time to get it done. It's 10:30 pm and I believe I'll be pulling an all-nighter. It's -2 degrees! I took a break just to get out of the apartment and stretch my legs and it's bitter, bitter cold. I think we're supposed to have temperatures with wind chills down around -28 degrees for the next few days. My heat is constantly on because I just can't seem to get warm in this apartment. I renewed my lease today - for one more year. I HOPE it's just one more year.
Well, enough of this - I need to get back to homework.
No comments:
Post a Comment