Monday, Monday

You know, it's weird, I never plant to write on my blog - it just happens. Maybe I subconsciously know I need to!

HELP!! I'm just struggling so much at this point - probably more than any other time in my life. Yesterday was my birthday...the first I spent totally alone. I could have gone out and done something, but I'm so far behind on school work...I got lots of nice greetings from my Facebook friends and I talked to Chris and my friend Cathy. Jason I think is out of town so he'll probably call me when he gets back...

I'm struggling in Math, I'm struggling with this swimming thing, (still can't get the breathing down) and I'm struggling being on my own. I know I don't have time right now to have someone in my life, but it still hurts. Going through Valentine's Day and my birthday alone - that sucked.

I just want to get through this semester - tooooo much homework and studying. Now I have four projects and four finals hanging over my head. I really have never been this behind in anything in my life.

BUT, I'm looking ahead - not behind. I know I'll get through all of this - I know it's not the end of the world - I know that all of this will make me a stronger person.

One thing I did to today - I cleaned my apartment! I'm sooo serious, it hasn't been cleaned since Christmas, I think. You know, done the quick swiffer and a quick swish of the toilet brush, but....it was time. I said screw the homework,this needs done! So, I put on my I-pod, listened to some new stuff I've downloaded, and felt so much better with everything clean!

I've not done very well in my culinary class the past two weeks. I need a job in a kitchen. I need to have a knife in my hand more than one day a week. But this is so not the time to look for another job. I can not take on one more thing right now.

I love my new ride! I'm finally getting the automatic start and the roof rack installed on Friday. I'm also taking my bike into the bike shop to be sure it's race ready!

God, give me the strength to get through this.

Rainy...

It's been so rainy the past few days - not sure if I'm ready for winter to end quite yet...

Well, I ended up getting a new vehicle, which I'm so glad Jason was there to help me. We actually had a pretty good time and got a chance to catch up on some movies in the theater right now. It was a really nice weekend. I got a Honda CR-V, which I'm so happy about! It will be nice to get a hitch on it for my bikes and I'll be able to carry my kayak on the roof. The seats go down so I can take bins to and from the storage unit, plus it will be nice if I start my business right away.

Here are some photos from class - Classical European Cuisine. I'll have to wait until I can get my vehicle cleaned up before I post a photo! The last photo was my Math project from last semester. We had to make a colorful display and three Math problems that related to our field of study. Mine was the only one chosen to be displayed! I felt like I was in 3rd grade! LOL!

 

Swimming...hmmm...it's harder than I ever thought. I just wish I could get the rythmn of the breathing down and it would be so much easier. Practice, practice, practice! I'm running and increasing my milage, and biking outdoors can't be too far behind. We did this bike event at the gym on Saturday. We rode indoors and watched the Avengers! It was fun, actually, and we rode for 2 hours. I was trying to stay in my Zone 2 to build up my base.

School...classes are hard this semester, so that's a challenge. I think I'm going to drop down to three classes next semester because we only have a week off in between. I'm heading to Florida to see Connie and I'm so excited. I'll be able to continue my training while I'm there.

Work...haven't worked much since before Christmas and it's been a nice break. Still waiting to get into one of the kitchens...I think I'm going to have to start looking for another job - not that I want to - but if something doesn't turn up soon, I'm going to have to.

What a Day...

It's surprising - and disappointing - how quickly I become overwhelmed. All of a sudden...plus my thoughts have been concentrated on memories of Dan and I. Growing up, high school, getting married, the boys - from babies to young men. I don't know why.

Math is killing me. I just can't get it. Or, I get the concept - then go back an hour later and I've lost it. Two other classes are requiring a TON of reading and memorization. My cooking class is pretty manageable so far.

I'm going to be starting in one of the kitchens at work on Friday. I'm very nervous about that but I need the experience. What if I can't do it? What if I'm awful?

I found out today that my car was totaled, so I need to buy a car pretty quickly. NOT something I have time for. At least I know I want another Honda. I love the car, the dealership, the service staff...Jason is going to come over on Saturday and go with me.

This triathlon...the swimming has got me bummed. I've not been to the gym since Sunday...as much as I want to do this - I'm not sure I have the time to devote 5-6 days at the gym. I don't want to give up...

I still have the bins of Christmas decorations in my spare room - having to NOT want to pile them into the small rental car...

I'm trying to get my system back to somewhat normal. My body has been under a lot of stress and it's starting to effect me - my health, my sleep...

I know next week at this time I'll probably feel better...I just don't want to feel this way now. WAAAAH!