Two years ago my marriage was "unofficially" over. Dan knew it...took me a while to catch on. I can't believe it's only been two years...seems like a lifetime. So many unanswered questions, regrets, wishes, hopes...just give us another try, please. You owe me that...I don't owe you anything.
It's hard not to dwell on it. It's hard not to think about it. It is the elephant in the room every morning when I wake up.
Someday it won't hurt...as much.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Three More Weeks
That's how long I have until this semester from Hell is over. Here's what I'm doing to survive the next three weeks:
I've already made arrangements for next semester to go from four classes to three. I need a break.
I've decided to not spend a majority of my day trying to figure out Math when it's never going to happen.
I've got two of the four end of semester projects done. The other two are with teams, so I hope we can get together and get it done. Both need a paper and a PowerPoint.
I am still working on the triathlon. In fact, this past Saturday I made it 25 meters without stopping! Now, considering I need to do something like 100 times that for the race, I've got my work cut out for me.
I decided I really do need to eat better because I'm constantly tired because I either sleep too much or not enough and have no energy when I'm at the gym. So, I'm seeing a nutritionist to help get me on the right track. Imagine a culinary student not knowing how to eat correctly! This will also help me with my culinary skills. I just hate cooking for just me, but I have to do it.
My bike has gone to the shop for a tune-up and will be road and race ready! I've joined a bike club through the gym and am so excited about it! That's the one goal I had for this year - before the triathlon - to join a bike club and get out to meet people. Plus I want to become a more efficient cyclist.
I want to get an internship the semester after next. That's what I'm working on now as far as employment. I'm still employed, but taking a break from it for now.
A friend of mine from the gym gave me some good advise. She said be in the moment. When you're at the gym, be at the gym, not thinking about all the other stuff you have to do. When you're doing homework, do homework and not feel guilty that you're not at the gym. The other good piece of advise came from my counselor. She said I should spend a few times a day just meditating. Taking the time for me - no TV, no computer, just relax and heal.
So, coming up I have two projects to finish, four finals to study for, one of which is a cooking final. BUT, I've finished two projects and started on the other two. I've got a schedule going so I know what needs to get done when. That's all I can do.
Here's some photos from our Classical European Class
I've already made arrangements for next semester to go from four classes to three. I need a break.
I've decided to not spend a majority of my day trying to figure out Math when it's never going to happen.
I've got two of the four end of semester projects done. The other two are with teams, so I hope we can get together and get it done. Both need a paper and a PowerPoint.
I am still working on the triathlon. In fact, this past Saturday I made it 25 meters without stopping! Now, considering I need to do something like 100 times that for the race, I've got my work cut out for me.
I decided I really do need to eat better because I'm constantly tired because I either sleep too much or not enough and have no energy when I'm at the gym. So, I'm seeing a nutritionist to help get me on the right track. Imagine a culinary student not knowing how to eat correctly! This will also help me with my culinary skills. I just hate cooking for just me, but I have to do it.
My bike has gone to the shop for a tune-up and will be road and race ready! I've joined a bike club through the gym and am so excited about it! That's the one goal I had for this year - before the triathlon - to join a bike club and get out to meet people. Plus I want to become a more efficient cyclist.
I want to get an internship the semester after next. That's what I'm working on now as far as employment. I'm still employed, but taking a break from it for now.
A friend of mine from the gym gave me some good advise. She said be in the moment. When you're at the gym, be at the gym, not thinking about all the other stuff you have to do. When you're doing homework, do homework and not feel guilty that you're not at the gym. The other good piece of advise came from my counselor. She said I should spend a few times a day just meditating. Taking the time for me - no TV, no computer, just relax and heal.
So, coming up I have two projects to finish, four finals to study for, one of which is a cooking final. BUT, I've finished two projects and started on the other two. I've got a schedule going so I know what needs to get done when. That's all I can do.
Here's some photos from our Classical European Class
Perfectly made Consomme with Inconsistently Brunoised Vegetable Garnish!
I made this dish
An ordinary salad with extraordinary dressing
Oysters on the Half Shell - so good!
Braised Leek Soup - I made this.
Peas and Tomatoes - lovely presentation and tasty
Creme Brulee
Chicken, Potatoes and the traditional French egg
Monday, February 18, 2013
Monday, Monday
You know, it's weird, I never plant to write on my blog - it just happens. Maybe I subconsciously know I need to!
HELP!! I'm just struggling so much at this point - probably more than any other time in my life. Yesterday was my birthday...the first I spent totally alone. I could have gone out and done something, but I'm so far behind on school work...I got lots of nice greetings from my Facebook friends and I talked to Chris and my friend Cathy. Jason I think is out of town so he'll probably call me when he gets back...
I'm struggling in Math, I'm struggling with this swimming thing, (still can't get the breathing down) and I'm struggling being on my own. I know I don't have time right now to have someone in my life, but it still hurts. Going through Valentine's Day and my birthday alone - that sucked.
I just want to get through this semester - tooooo much homework and studying. Now I have four projects and four finals hanging over my head. I really have never been this behind in anything in my life.
BUT, I'm looking ahead - not behind. I know I'll get through all of this - I know it's not the end of the world - I know that all of this will make me a stronger person.
One thing I did to today - I cleaned my apartment! I'm sooo serious, it hasn't been cleaned since Christmas, I think. You know, done the quick swiffer and a quick swish of the toilet brush, but....it was time. I said screw the homework,this needs done! So, I put on my I-pod, listened to some new stuff I've downloaded, and felt so much better with everything clean!
I've not done very well in my culinary class the past two weeks. I need a job in a kitchen. I need to have a knife in my hand more than one day a week. But this is so not the time to look for another job. I can not take on one more thing right now.
I love my new ride! I'm finally getting the automatic start and the roof rack installed on Friday. I'm also taking my bike into the bike shop to be sure it's race ready!
God, give me the strength to get through this.
HELP!! I'm just struggling so much at this point - probably more than any other time in my life. Yesterday was my birthday...the first I spent totally alone. I could have gone out and done something, but I'm so far behind on school work...I got lots of nice greetings from my Facebook friends and I talked to Chris and my friend Cathy. Jason I think is out of town so he'll probably call me when he gets back...
I'm struggling in Math, I'm struggling with this swimming thing, (still can't get the breathing down) and I'm struggling being on my own. I know I don't have time right now to have someone in my life, but it still hurts. Going through Valentine's Day and my birthday alone - that sucked.
I just want to get through this semester - tooooo much homework and studying. Now I have four projects and four finals hanging over my head. I really have never been this behind in anything in my life.
BUT, I'm looking ahead - not behind. I know I'll get through all of this - I know it's not the end of the world - I know that all of this will make me a stronger person.
One thing I did to today - I cleaned my apartment! I'm sooo serious, it hasn't been cleaned since Christmas, I think. You know, done the quick swiffer and a quick swish of the toilet brush, but....it was time. I said screw the homework,this needs done! So, I put on my I-pod, listened to some new stuff I've downloaded, and felt so much better with everything clean!
I've not done very well in my culinary class the past two weeks. I need a job in a kitchen. I need to have a knife in my hand more than one day a week. But this is so not the time to look for another job. I can not take on one more thing right now.
I love my new ride! I'm finally getting the automatic start and the roof rack installed on Friday. I'm also taking my bike into the bike shop to be sure it's race ready!
God, give me the strength to get through this.
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